Beginning seven years ago, I experienced some very devastating situations in my life.  Some of those experiences were self imposed and some were at the hands of others (including Christians).  Inside I was hurt, angry, sad, bitter, desperate and trying to keep God at a distance because I was confused as to why God would allow this to happen to me.  On the outside, I tried to maintain a demeanor of “having my act together,” confident and strong.

Going to church was bittersweet at times.  The music would sometimes melt me and the sermons seemed to be written just for me but I still continued to build walls between myself, others and God.  I felt betrayed by Christians and trusting people was difficult for me. I secretly wanted someone to notice me and my pain but the fear of opening up to people and trusting people won out so I worked hard at staying anonymous.  I would go to church, slip in the back, shake hands when I had to and slipped out at the end unnoticed.

Over the next few years, my husband and I visited several churches. It was the same routine and the same result.  There were several churches where we tried to get involved and one in particular that showed some promise.  The Sunday School department leader and his wife asked to visit us one evening in our home. They both seemed interested in getting to know us and I decided to let my guard down and tried to share some of what I was dealing with. I felt like they listened and they seemed very attentive but we never heard from them again. Another disappointment! 

At this point, we moved to Winter Haven because of a job relocation and my husband was determined to find a church and “a place to belong.”  My husband visited Christ Community Church and the pastor contacted us several times over a period of a few weeks.  That was a first…..someone who called more than one time.  For some reason I felt like God was telling me to make an appointment with the pastor and talk to him about the very issues that I so desperately tried to hide.

Soon after that conversation, Mark called and invited us to join a small group that he and Anna were hosting at their house.  There were total of five families represented, all selected by God and ultimately there for a greater purpose.

Guess what?  It did!!!!  I vividly remember going one Sunday afternoon and feeling the lowest I had felt in a long while.  At first, I was quiet and reserved but Mark asked me if I had anything to say…..big mistake!!!  The flood gates opened and I released all my fears, thoughts and pain.  So not like me!!!! I believe it was my last effort in calling for help from my friends and from God.

Something unusual happened.  I experienced acceptance, love, grace and mercy.  They prayed for me and then promised to pray for me daily.  They didn’t ask for anything in return.  They just loved me.  It was a powerful moment in my life.  God moved mountains and barriers in my life and used my small group friends to minister to me.  Many of the circumstances that consumed me didn’t change and still haven’t to this day but my attitude changed about them.  For once, I genuinely felt loved and valued!  My friends prayed and asked for help on my behalf but the power came from God.  They also prayed for me and were there for me when I had to have a tumor removed from my spinal cord in 2004.  They visited me, cooked meals for my family and prayed for a successful surgery and recovery.

Our group has since stop meeting on a regular basis but those people in my small group I consider family.  We still keep in touch and have maintained a strong bond.  It wasn’t the church, the music, the sermons or the programs that made the biggest impact in my life.  It was first and foremost God helping to restore me but it was also the genuine love my small group friends showed me that made all the difference in the world. 

God calls us to love others and what better way than with other believers.  The advice of the world can be helpful at times but they are missing the most important piece to true fulfillment….God.  Small groups also keep us from being self-centered and only focusing on our own problems.  It offers a way to help others.

What I learned:

1)      Taking that first step to be involved in a small group is hard but worth it.

2)      Choosing a group that makes you feel like you belong is crucial. Ask God for direction.

3)      Stay committed to the group and in attendance even if you don’t feel like it. People and God are depending on you.

4)      Listen, don’t be judgmental, demonstrate unconditional love, show confidentiality, celebrate the good things and encourage one another.

5)      LOVE!!!!

As I close, I would encourage you to reach boldly for the miracle.  Your heavenly Father knows your gifts, your hindrances, and the condition you’re in at every moment.  And He also knows something you can’t possibly know – every single person who’s in desperate need of receiving His touch through you!